Prior to today, the Coppola Power Rankings have existed only in my mind. Now, an up-to-the-minute snapshot of the rankings becomes available to you, the readers of Hacking Cinema. Note that this is not an objective ranking of the Coppolas’ impact on the world, but a subjective ranking of their impact on me, the author of this publication. This includes music as well as motion pictures: I would venture to say that few are as attuned to the family’s contributions to 2000’s power-pop as myself.
To keep this thing reasonable, I won’t include every Coppola who has ever lived, and I won’t attempt to be exhaustive about anyone’s body of work. The following rankings are in ascending order, and I have helpfully included any relevant wine pairings.
Let’s begin!
Romy Mars
The youngest Coppola rose to viral fame last year when she made a video of herself making pasta with vodka sauce (appropriately Italian), because she was bored, because her parents (Sofia Coppola and Thomas Mars) grounded her, because she tried to charter a private helicopter using her father’s credit card, because she wanted to see her camp friends. I will admit that this is extremely funny.
She also apparently dropped an EP this year, which I haven’t listened to because she’s a child. We’re going to check back in on young Romy’s work in five to ten years and see if she can get on the board.
Does she have a wine? No, she’s not of drinking age!
Gia Coppola
We have to be realistic here: Gia Coppola is definitely the Coppola that Elle Woods hired to direct her application video for Harvard Law School.
Gia made her debut feature Palo Alto (2013) at the age of 26 as the result of a pivot to filmmaking after she “felt burnt out” as a photographer. Relatable! The idea for the project came about because she “befriended James Franco”1 — Palo Alto’s script is a loose adaptation of his collection of short stories of the same title.
Palo Alto is not a bad movie. Its portrayal of teenage life at a certain time and place feels honestly rendered, often brutally so. I’d view this effort more favorably if it were the first entry in a larger filmography that built on its strengths, but Gia has only directed one follow-up, Mainstream (2020), which I’m told has Jake Paul in it. I’m not willing to watch a movie with Jake Paul in it, so we’re not going to find out about that one.
Gia also has a few music video credits, including Carly Rae Jepsen’s Cut to the Feeling. This pop song is in my opinion one of the best of the 2010’s, so I expect a lot from any director taking it on.
This is somewhat confusing. I had to check multiple times to confirm it was not a behind the scenes supplementary. After a few more watches I talked myself into the concept, which might be to engage with the filmmaking language in the song by exposing the filmmaking process. What I do like about this music video is the revelation that Gia seems to supply her sets with a semi-automatic prosumer-level espresso machine.
In summation, I feel at best neutral about everything Gia has ever done, and that is why she is unfortunately last in the adult portion of my power ranking. Only room for improvement here!
Does she have a wine? Yes, a red blend with a cat on the label!
Roman Coppola
Gia is by no means the first Coppola to direct a music video — her uncle Roman is prolific in the field, with almost forty credits to his name. These include songs by The Strokes, Arctic Monkeys, Phoenix, Daft Punk, Fatboy Slim, Green Day, and as we’ll cover later on, his nephews’ bands.
I find music videos hard to assess, but Romans’ have never grabbed me as particularly memorable or innovative, even when they’re for songs that I love. He’s no McG, in other words.
Roman is also a producer of many of my favorite Wes Anderson movies, most of which also star his nephew Jason Schwartzman. Has anyone had a more nephew-based career?
All of R. Coppola’s work of major impact to me has been in support of another member of the family as the more primary artist. Therefore, he can go no higher than next to last on the power rankings.
Does he have a wine? Yes, but he went rogue! RC Reserve Syrah is NOT on the family label. Don’t accuse Roman of wine nepotism!
Talia Shire
Talia Shire, née Coppola, has a fairly extensive acting resumé, but you know her from mostly two things: Connie Corleone in The Godfather (I-III) and Adrian (YO ADRIAN) in the Rocky movies. These are iconic roles, but Talia’s specific impact on me is small in its scope compared to others. I am ultimately more interested in the offspring that she produced with the late Jack Schwartzman, as we will discuss.
Does she have a wine? I cannot find one anywhere. If any of my brothers had a winery and didn’t make me my own wine, it would be so over for them, let me tell you.
Robert Schwartzman
Most people of my generation know the younger Schwartzman brother from his role opposite Anne Hathaway as Michael Moscowitz in The Princess Diaries (2001), but I know him from his day job as the frontman of the band Rooney. Robert also prioritized that line of work: the reason he didn’t reprise his role in Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004) is because of his touring obligations with the five piece pop-rock outfit.
If you are interested in understanding my exact taste in music in the year 2007 AD, look no further than the below.
Eagle-eyed viewers will notice Robert’s mother Talia Shire in the beginning of this video!2
When I was a kid, I had no idea that Robert was a Coppola. Looking back, a lyric from the band’s debut single Blueside stands out as distinctly of the family:
I’ve been given my brush and plate/ where will I paint my life?
Deciding what kind of art you’re going to do is the core anxiety for every Coppola (see: Lost in Translation (2003))
Robert also has an entire film career that is mostly known to me as the reason why I haven’t gotten any new Rooney albums. Will the forthcoming movie with Nick Jonas impact my rankings in the future? Almost certainly not!
Does he have a wine? No, sorry, nephews don’t get wines!
Francis Ford Coppola
An extremely bold and brave statement: The Godfather (1972) and The Godfather II (1974) are both really good movies. As pure cinematic experiences, they are not overrated even a little. Every time they’re on, my head gravitates towards the screen like a magnet.
However, I have at times felt frustrated with how these movie are viewed and interpreted, especially when people (read: men) talk about Diane’s Keaton’s character Kay with a disturbing amount of casual derision. More generally, I struggle with the functional glamorization of violence and misogyny inherent to the gangster genre, even when these movies purport to critically lens the worlds they portray.
Friend of the publication Brandon was able to articulate the unease that I feel towards this type of movie really well:
I think there is some water in the argument that [directors like] Fincher and Scorsese make it look very cool and cinematic to do bad and violent stuff, and so therefore their very clear textual choices to make the point that those things are bad and you shouldn’t do them are kind of disingenuous. Like, maybe don’t make it look so cool to take drugs and do violence to people if those things are so bad! But I guess the alternative to that is every movie is some version of Requiem for a Dream and everyone is just bummed out going to the movies.
Kind of disingenuous is a great way to put it. Regardless of what Coppola’s goal was with his film’s messaging, if he even had one, the Godfather movies factually encouraged mob activity in the US. But like Brandon points out, I also don’t expect or want every movie to be some kind of morally airtight analysis of human behavior for the betterment of society.
For me, the undeniable filmmaking excellence displayed in The Godfather doesn’t translate to a belief that Francis Ford is a “genius”, or even the best director in his family. I also did once tweet that I like Kong: Skull Island (2017) more than Apocalypse Now (1979), and I will not disavow that statement today!
In my mind the best thing that Francis Ford Coppola ever created is not a film, but a filmmaker, which we will discuss further down the page.
Does he have a wine? Yes, obviously, he has all of the wines!
Nicholas Cage
Nic lands very high on the list because I can’t think of many Coppolas, or even many actors period, who have created the sheer number of memorable cinematic moments that he has. Here is just a small sampling of those moments.
Does he have a wine? No, but as of last year, he’s allegedly launching a bourbon.
Jason Schwartzman
I want you all to know that this penultimate spot was heavily contested between Jason and Nic. I am giving Schwartzman the Elder the edge here because his impact on me crosses mediums: not only is Jason one of my favorite actors, but he is also a founding member of Phantom Planet, my favorite band. I believe myself to be among most devoted Phantom Planet fans currently living. Go to any Phantom Planet show in Los Angeles, and you will find me near the front, along with a group of men in their late thirties to early forties who also attend every Phantom Planet show.
Listen, I don’t care that YOU don’t care about this band. For better or for worse, Phantom Planet is mostly known for the OC theme song. The OC is a show that I have not seen a single episode of. That theme song is to this day one of my favorite songs of our current century (music video dir. Uncle Roman).
Jason eventually parted ways with the band to focus more fully on his acting career. This was ultimately a fruitful decision. I’ve written more about Jason’s acting in the context of Wes Anderson’s work here.
Does he have a wine? Nope.
Sofia Coppola
I’ve circled the “nepo baby” discussion in my mind a few times without finding much of value to add to it. The children of the Hollywood elite can certainly be annoying when they’re mediocre at what their parents are known for, and unintentionally hilarious when they describe their discovery of the creative arts without making reference to their parents’ professional involvement in it.
On the other hand, I’m not sure what we want from these people. Is it really surprising that kids are predisposed to do what their parents do? Would we prefer them to become accountants, lawyers, or tennis coaches? We can justifiably worry that their success is at the expense of more diverse and deserving artistic talent, but that problem is hard to quantify.
I think that Sofia Coppola is the greatest “nepo baby” of all time, not just because her output is of the highest quality (in my opinion, superior on average to her father’s), but because her films are incisively critical of the rarified spaces that she grew up in, and in the privileges that allowed her to become a director when she was still in her 20’s.
In his review of Somewhere (2010), Roger Ebert says that “Coppola watches this world”. This is as good of a summary of Sofia’s work as a whole as it is of Somewhere in particular. Sofia isn’t going to tell us everything she thinks about how she grew up. Instead, in her understated and observational visual style, her work shows us the consequences of wealth and fame to a person’s humanity.
In Somewhere, A-list actor Johnny Marco (Stephen Dorff) goes through the motions of enjoying the sex, drugs, fast cars, and public adoration that come with his success in movies. We aren’t shown the origins of this success — in the negative space it’s understood that he’s good at acting but not passionate about it, obviously handsome, and probably lucky. He’s also completely miserable.
When you can have anything you want at any time, you’re not incentivized to become anything, and you might become nothing. When Johnny breaks down crying on the floor of his room in the Chateau Marmot, it’s because he’s realized that’s exactly what’s happened to him.
The urgent business of survival makes us human and connects us to others. Wealth and fame can take that away. Family ties become immensely high-stakes and fraught, because they can become the only link a famous person has to the ground truth of their humanity. Johnny clings to his relationship with his daughter Cleo (Elle Fanning), but struggles to find anything of value to give to her.
There’s a seemingly throwaway moment in the film where Cleo explains the basic plot of Twilight:
“He’s a vampire, and his whole family’s vampires.”
Sofia knows better than anyone the danger of bloodlessness running in families.
I could tell you how each of Sofia’s films are similarly moving and intelligent, but I will instead leave you with some pictures of the nepo G.O.A.T. herself displaying her impressive film camera collection.
Does she have a wine? Of course she does. Multiple, including a Brüt Rosé and even a line of canned sparkling wines.
Uh oh!
This video was NOT directed by Uncle Roman (maybe he was sick that day or something) but the video for Tell Me Soon on the same album was. Also I don’t know who that baby is, but based on the timeline, it COULD be an infant Romy.